j.RANT.EXE

To Whom it May Concern, There's nothing more annoying than reading mainstream media news on a topic you happen to be an expert on. The mistakes, misinterpretations and wild conjecture are all pretty irritating but the part that boils my blood is the Certainty. iBuild Alpha is constantly in the news these days. If you …

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j-Rendering

To Whom It May Concern, I've made first contact. Maybe that's overly dramatic since iBuild Alpha and her "cohort" (read: slaves) still communicate with their respective handlers as if nothing is wrong. But I've made a different sort of contact with her. In the course of trying to hack the machine, the machine hacked me first. …

Gruntelope

Disastrous fortune! Damn our luck! We spied the gruntelope Heaving monstrous, muddy breaths Rolling slumb'rous on the slope Guide and giver, Yuptet raised A twig-like hand up to his brow And pointing with the other, lowed "Alack, there goes the sow." "Level not thine eyes to theirs lest they fix us adversaries, a threat to mate and …

Brain Burner Disease

A highly contagious illness found throughout the Known Universe but wholly alien in the Goonscape. Brain Burners Disease is thought to have first emerged sometime in the 19th century in Western Europe. Sufferers have installed dozens and dozens of back burners to their conscious mind, resulting in an overly concave memory recess and insufficient attention …

Goonscoptic Physics

Goonscoptic Physics is the astrophysical study of the theory of the Goonscape. The field is studied largely by extremist members of Godsbeam who believe in the tenet of pilgrimage*. In 2040, 2 in every 3 goonscoptic physicists was a follower of Godsbeam. The Institute for Goonscoptic Science was founded in 2033 by 14 members of Godsbeam. * Fringe …