Monthly Archives: February 2013

Goonscoptic Physics

Goonscoptic Physics is the astrophysical study of the theory of the Goonscape. The field is studied largely by extremist members of Godsbeam who believe in the tenet of pilgrimage*. In 2040, 2 in every 3 goonscoptic physicists was a follower of … Continue reading

Posted in Goons, World Glossary by Aamer Belkins-Dunjhab (2041 ed.) | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Murdock Corporation Profile for [SALAAM, KASHI]

Name: Kashi Salaam (born Aakash Belkins-Dunjhab) Sex: Male DOB: 7/14/2014 Parents: Aamer Belkins-Dunjhab (Father) –Deceased Sophie Lorieux (Mother) — Deceased Permanent Address: Unfixed Marital Status: Unmarried Sexual orientation: Heterosexual Blood Type: AB – Organ/Blood Donor: Yes/Yes Dates of Hospitalization: N/A Purchase orientation: Art:(film),(film-make),(film-theory);Allergic:(dust-pollen-dander), (strawberries);Apparel:(manufac.),(trend);Books:(agriculture),(business),(engineering),(engineering-chemical),(engineering-commercial),(engineering-industrial),(history-french),(history-pakistan),(metaphys-cannon),(metaphys-rudiment),(metaphys-visionaryprairiedog),Movie-(arabic),(drama),(dutch),(foreign),(french),(kungfu),(violent),(videogame)…[click for 50+] … Continue reading

Posted in Encrypted | Leave a comment

Aamer’s Fireplace

iJOURNAL This account is not currently synced with your iWork or ToolBuddy. Click HERE to sync! Date: 4/12/43 Location: Linsdale, NY Mood: sweaty I was just taking out a few last loads of trash when I ran into a nextdoor neighbor, … Continue reading

Posted in Encrypted | Leave a comment

Kashi in His Father’s House

iJOURNAL This account is not currently synced with your iWork or ToolBuddy. Click HERE to sync! Date: 4/11/43 Location: Linsdale, NY Mood: … I have returned to my father’s house after his suicide. It’s eerie being here. Not just because he’s … Continue reading

Posted in Authorial Privilege | Leave a comment

^anti freak^

everyone thinks the end of the world is coming. it’s true that something terrible is coming. but the worst part about the end of the world is that you’ll probably, most-likely, survive it. an apocalypse is a congratulatory event. if you exist … Continue reading

Posted in Bulletin Board | Leave a comment

Part II

Dear Reader, I would first like to thank you for going on this journey with me. I had never been to the future before, nor to the Goonscape. What’s more, I am fairly certain I would never have gone to … Continue reading

Posted in Authorial Privilege | Leave a comment

Aamer Belkins-Dunjhab Commits Suicide

Yesterday morning at 5:06am, scholar and linguist Aamer Belkins-Dunjhab was pronounced dead in his suburban home in upstate New York. He had slit his wrists in the tub of the master bathroom. The following cryptic message was found at the … Continue reading

Posted in Bulletin Board | Leave a comment

Johns Hopkins is Pretty Dumb

Dear Vivian, WOWOWW I think a lot of those are really good schools anyway! Johns Hopkins is pretty dumb for not accepting you because it seems like you’re really smart and are also in every club known to mankind!!!!! I … Continue reading

Posted in Found in the Trash | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Vivian Didn’t Get Accepted to Johns Hopkins

Dear Hector, You really don’t need to thank me. When I read that he peed on you I didn’t care about the mystery anymore. That’s just WRONG to do to people. Not to mention completely gross. I got into Vassar, … Continue reading

Posted in Found in the Trash | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Etta Whare: Gourmet Party Snacks

Etta Whare is delighted to announce that we are introducing a line of party snacks perfect for all your occasions be they celebratory or just a little get together. Lobster + Olive Crisps made with the finest quality seminole wheat … Continue reading

Posted in Bulletin Board | Leave a comment