Calendar Saturation Disorder

Calendar Saturation Disorder (CSD) is a newly recognized disorder by the American Psychological Association. The first diagnosed patient was Jin Xiou-Bu in Hong Kong, China in 2010.

Common symptoms of CDS include anxiety, insomnia, binge eating, high blood pressure, and muscle tension. In clinical research, patients with CDS frequently describe having the sensation that they had missed important events which had not yet occurred and confusion about what day of the week it was. In some extreme cases, sufferers do not remember their own birthday, age, or mailing address.

Medical researchers at Bowdoin College released a study in 2011 claiming they had isolated a  gene (SYGP-ORF50) related to CDS. In their experiments, lab rats with the gene who were exposed to high levels of radiation  double booked themselves during lab rat weekends 1.5 times as often as the rats not exposed to radiation and 2 times as often as the rats without the gene. The study is peer reviewed and published in Scientific America’s Breast Cancer edition but the leader of the study admits that more research is required.

Neurological experts speculate that when one’s home is full of devices, appliances and small gadgetry that all feature calendar and clock applications, the human brain’s internal leaflet calendar begins to husk itself away in desperation. Likewise, our natural cerebral clocks, timers and stopwatches all begin to spin out of control, sometimes extruding microscopic gears and springs into the brain-blood barrier. This, in turn, can cause scarring on the brain.

Calendar Saturation Disorder can sometimes be confused with Time Traveler’s Disease. However, TTD is a much more serious condition where people fast forward through life, miss major plot points and characters, and ultimately do not understand the ending.

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Mind the Goons.
This entry was posted in World Glossary by Aamer Belkins-Dunjhab (2041 ed.). Bookmark the permalink.

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